Introverts On Email
A wonderfully insightful column from my friend Susan Cain, author of the book Quiet, who pushes back against the conventional wisdom that the rise of electronic communication has harmed our relationships with each other. Actually, writes Susie,
” . . . our online gadgets have arguably enhanced the social lives of one large swath of the population: the introvert.
Introverts are often brimming with thoughts and care deeply for their friends, family and colleagues. But even the most socially skilled introverts (of whom there are many) sometimes long for a free pass from socializing en masse or talking on the phone. This is what the Internet offers: the chance to connect — but in measured doses and from behind a screen.
When I was researching my book, Quiet, I noticed that many of the introverted academics I corresponded with were much warmer via e-mail than when we finally met in real life. The keyboard and screen allowed them to express their caring and friendly natures.
Similarly, when you’re blogging or tweeting, you don’t have to wade through small talk before you get to main point. You have time to think before you speak. You can connect, one mind with another, freed from the distractions of social cues and pleasantries — just the way readers and writers have done for centuries.
And you can do all this from the quiet of your own home.” Read more here.
Is this how you feel about your gadgets? And have you notices that some people are much warmer and more intimate by email than (initially, at least) in person?
Yes, I have noticed this. In fact, that’s how I found your post. I was googling for explanations of this behavior.
I have a couple of friends who are SO WARM and FRIENDLY over text /email /gchat, as though we have a really close relationship. In person, however, they act as though we are nearly strangers, though I do sense that, somewhere underneath, they value me as a person.
I couldn’t figure out why such difference exist between online & offline. Is the relationship we have via text the real one, i.e. that shows how close we actually are, or is the face-to-face relationship a more realistic description of how things stand??